Friday, September 17, 2004

So much on my mind!

I started reading "Desiring God" this morning. Wow!! What an incredible book. Why has it taken me so long to get to a book like this. "God gets most glory when you are most satisfied in Him". How awesome is that?! I want to bring Him glory by my joy in Him. Not just doing what I know He wants...not just being good so I wont get in trouble...bringing Him glory by being fully satisfied in Him. I want to seek that every day. What great worship came out of that thought process today. I want to lead like that. Not leading good songs or good services, just leading by being fully satisfied in Him. I mean, how much do I love seeing my kids fully satisfied, having fun, smiling. I love to hear my kids sing. Last night, they were all singing "I'll do my best, I'll do my best. Oh, oh, oh, I'll do my best for You" at the top of their lungs. I know that brought glory to God and I know that it made me full of praise for Him. God is good. Man I'm rambling! I have only read about 40 pages of this book so far...can't wait to get to the rest of it.

Had a great lunch today to. Why does it surprise me when people just want to be invested in? I love to see people hungry for more of God. I love getting to talk about that with brothers in Christ. I love getting to invite them into more of what God has. Some are just so hungry for more of God, just waiting for someone to invite them into the game. I have the great job of inviting people into the game. WHAT A GREAT JOB! Some will choose not to play. That's not my responsibility. I just keep on inviting people to play and keep on playing myself. Like Brian reminded me today, it really is much more fun to play than it is to sit on the sideline.

Finally, we are having a garage sale tomorrow. I am amazed at how much junk we have. Yeah, a lot of it is clothes that we have grown out of, but so much of it is just junk that we didn't need in the first place (but we probably thought we had to have). Sometimes I walk through my house and wonder, how cool would it be just to sell all of this and start over. No t.v., playstation, cable, computer, just a few pairs of jeans and shirts, and some food. How much more effective would I be as a minister without all of this clutter in my life? Well that's for another long discussion.


Thank you for rewarding me with what you did today. Thank you for letting me give of myself. Thank you for the 3 hours with Alvin. Thank you for his hunger for you and love for you. Father, thank you for letting me serve you in this way.

Father, I will seek joy in You. Help me not seek joy in things that are not of you. IN fact, would you kill all the joy that I get from things that aren't of you. Father, keep E safe tomorrow . As he plays, remind him that You are the creator of the joy that he has.

I am physically tired God, but my spirits is rejoicing in what you have done for me today. Thank you for that. I love you. Let me wake up in the morning with you in my thoughts.

Your son,


Monday, September 13, 2004

I just wish I could be "truer" all the time. I want to live in God's will all the time. It's so easy for me to talk the talk, and so easy for me to walk my own walk. I waste time...I don't do what I want to do....God, please help me have a pure heart.

The song that has come through my head over and over lately is "Refiner's Fire".
My heart's one desire is to be holy, set apart for you Lord. I want to sing that and MEAN that this is my heart's one desire. In truth, my heart has many more desires. I desire stuff for me, not stuff for Him. I want so much to be like Jesus, every minute of every day...but I can't. Should I be happy that I want that? I mean, at least I'm not happy with where I am. I know that God loves me...I just don't always know why. I'm tired of leading worship and just singing...I want to lead people into...I want to live in the throne room of my Father in heaven.

I do things that I don't want to do. I don't treat my wife/kids/neighbors/etc. like I want to treat them. God help me.

Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Please don't give up on me. Continue to give me your spirit...even when I deny it or go against it. Father, I do love you. I'm sorry I don't live my life like that every day. I want to go to sleep tonight with you on my mind and wake up tomorrow ready to life with the attitude of your son. Help me tear down masks that I put up. help me be absolutely real. I love you Father...will you grant me these things so that you may receive glory? I love you God. I tell you thank you for your son, and it seems so trivial. But, thank you so much for your son. I want a new language, a new way to say thank you for your son. Maybe you just gave it to me. I will say thank you for your son by running away from the sin that takes me away from you. Thank you for telling me that. I love you Father.

Yours son...thank you,