Friday, November 19, 2004

The question I am asking myself right now is, "Do we focus to much on the death and not enough on the resurrection?" Ok, I'm not saying, "Is that why people don't get it, won't believe, etc.", I'm just wondering if that is why a lot of Christians are such downers.

Sometimes I think all we talk about is don't do this, you shouldn't have this, if you do this, it will lead to this. We talk about dieing a lot. No doubt you have to die to live....but if there is no living on the other side of dieing then what is the use of dieing??!! If I have a porn problem and all I hear is about how wrong that is and how I need to stop, but I never hear about the freedom that is on the other side of addiction, the freedom of not hiding, the blessings on my marriage...why would I EVER leave my old ways? Jesus, said, "I have come that you may have LIFE to the fullest." We are trying to sell DEATH to the fullest! YES, YES, YES, I understand still that you have to die to live. But if we don't understand or see or hear about the joy set before us, how can we endure the death that we must go through?

That's just where I am this morning...tomorrow is a new day.



Thank you for LIFE. I am sorry that I don't always choose life. Please let me see more of who you are and the blessings you want for me so that I can endure killing the things that I have learned to trust. Please let me shut out that that is of Satan that is only to kill and steal and destroy. Thank you for loving me this side of death. Thank you for promising me life.


Your son,

Monday, November 08, 2004

I really do wish I could get in the habit of writing every day. I mean I do other stuff every know breathing and stuff, why can't I get this blogging thing down? It's been nearly a month. Maybe I haven't had any thoughts in a month?

Yesterday was a cool day. Brian preached from the sermon on the mount. Well actually, he preached the sermon on the mount. There were times when I closed my eyes and I thought I was listening to Jesus. I know that sounds weird and hokey but the passion, the real, the "wow this makes sense" just made me think that is what the followers of Jesus thought.

Over the past few months, Brian has become one of the best friends I have had. Yeah we work together...but it seems more than that. There are times that I feel I can't do my job without him and he can't do his without me. I know this all sounds weird right. Some kind of man love thing going on here. It's not that at all. I just think this is what God intended for us. Sometimes I get kinda scared that he just puts up with me and that we aren't really friends. I guess that is my insecurity screaming.

Anyway, back to yesterday...the "sermon on the mt." I can't read that without just getting slammed in so many ways. Tuesday, it was "pure in heart/see God". Yesterday, it was the whole don't give where everybody can see you (right after we did the bring your cans to the stage thing!). Just everytime I read both makes more sense and challenges me even more.

Will there ever be a day when I read the sermon on the mt. and say, "finally, I've got it all"? I doubt it. I do hope that next year, I read it and at least am closer.

This morning I saw a lady that was 78 and had just run her 35th New York marathon. Um...I don't think I could run around the block...much less... So that got me to thinking, at 78, what do I want the Today Show to interview me about. Or do I want them to interview me at all. At 78, if I live that long, what do I want to be my biggest accomplishment? I'm going to pray about that for a while.

Saturday, Everett, Avery, Truett, and I, along with Mom and Dad went to a TTU football game. What a blast. Truett absolutely LOVED it. It was a blast!! I hope that is a time my kids always remember as a fun day....I know I will.

Gotta go to bed.


You are so good to me. Thank you coming here and preaching and then leaving it in your Word for me to learn, and learn, and learn from. Father God, HELP ME CHANGE! I don't want to just know the scripture, I want to live the scripture. Father, help me do that. You have placed me in leadership...use me to lead in the right way. I love you...thank you for all you do for me.

Your Servant,